dancing star

i've been feeding on a lot of Deepak Chopra's talks lately.  in the midst of one of these inspirational and enlightening forums, he offered this quote:

"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star."
                                                -Nietzsche




that's a relief...


and
yes. yes. yes.

 

                                        charcoal by me - aka, wendy shuster

love beetle style

today, clinging to the bottom of the orange thai pants i’m wearing, i discovered two copper-gold beetles copulating.

******

it came up again briefly this morning, that angst that’s attached to an anticipation that certain people may not continue to support me - support me in any of the forms that that can take - if i am well and even thriving.  and i realized - yes, now i see it - that even if that were true,  that kind of support - the kind that would leave because i am well and thriving - is not the best support possible.  so, what’s the loss?   not so very much.

makes me think of the old way in china - does it still operate this way in certain regions there?  - where the doctors were paid not when a patient was ill but when he/she was healthy.  our system here is upside-down and backwards.  the doctors’ support comes when we are ill, at which time we reward them  for this orientation with payment.  and the support effectively evaporates when we are well;  they have very little to offer then.  everything is oriented to the symptom, so little to the cause.  preventive care is spoken of, but focus on the ill and our ills is the rule.    that is not a healthy system.

healthy or healthful is an emphasis on that which is genuinely nourishing, on what is best in a person or community or society, on the gifts, talents and special ways that lie there.  healthy is placing more energy and effort into acknowledging, supporting and strengthening those vital ways.  our focus creates our world.  what can we do in any given moment or situation to see what’s before us and highlight the kindness or generosity or innovative thought or creation that’s there.  to dwell more in the land of love and loving with everybody.    am i suggesting that we ignore our ills or our ill?  no, of course not.  (i need that kind of attention right now!) we need to know them from the inside-out.  but, with an emphasis on love and nourishment of what is best in us, the best in us flourishes, leaving less room for the ills to take hold.  what follows naturally is a healthy or healthier individual, community and society.

******

love and excellent health for you all!

the way

 
Love.
Laughter.
Joy.
Play.
Improvisation.
Giggles.
More Love.

Now.


and


Now.


and...


Now!

a hike

yesterday, for the first time in over a year, i set out on a hike.  a hike on a trail with a gentle incline, and not intended to be very long.   the site:  mohonk mountain and a trail called "bontecou crag."  i've hiked it many times before so i knew what the early part of the trail would be like and it seemed just the thing for me at this stage of my hip's healing process.

i set off in my yellow, high-top converse sneakers with cane in hand.  the evening was soft and warm.  the views of the valley and mountain ridges to the west as i passed through the fields of grasses and milkweed early on were gorgeous.

my footing was sure and strong.  what a thrill to be in the woods hiking again.

i hiked up to one of the carriage trails on a narrow path and then decided to descend on this carriage trail as the slope would be more gentle.   one or two mosquitos insisted on buzzing around my head during most of the walk.  the descent was much longer than the ascent.  for a while i wondered if i was headed in the right direction.  was i on the right path?   mostly an issue because i was walking with a cane remember!  going too far out of my way was not advised.   i began to explore the parallels to my larger life at the moment - including the mosquitos who so well represented the nagging, pesky and useless thoughts that can circle my mind.   with that recognition, i took the opportunity to shift my focus, to sidle over a little to get out of my own way.  i looked around some more and enjoyed the landscape i was in, talked to the trees and smaller plants, sang, followed the sun...  and very soon found i was indeed on the right path, and out of the woods and on my way home.

i walked for an hour and a half!

it was really a fine day.  the hike and a healing session with a peruvian shaman shared the middle of the day.  and i started the day with homemade buckwheat-quinoa flour pancakes piled high with fruit and nuts, and finished with the "wizard of oz" - ha! fun to giggle through that old childhood favorite. 

a love letter to my body

dear dear body,

    this is a love letter for you.  i am eternally thankful for your awesome intelligence and love.

    some may question how a body with cancer is intelligent.  they might suggest that it has failed or betrayed me.  i know otherwise.  it is very likely that this thing we call “cancer” is your way of dealing with a larger problem, a larger imbalance created by some combination of internal and external environmental factors. that you were and are doing everything in your power to right an untenable situation.

    you’ve raised big questions in my life.  questions i needed to look at squarely in the eye.   further, i’d say, we as a society need to look at them as well.  all of the individual bodies in our country form one larger, inter-related body.  the statistics now are sobering - something like one out of every two people in the states will contend with cancer in his/her lifetime.  the larger society-body is riddled with cancer - that is most certainly something that our society must reckon with.

    why isn’t it true or possible that you created these tumors to act as organs of a kind, to help carry a burden too great for the organs i was born with..?  others besides myself have suggested this before me.  and why not, sensing that the burden was too great even for one new area to carry, you dispersed the weight, the work, to various parts of my body? - asking that the problem be carried, be supported, by a community of distinct areas in the body.  and simultaneously, perhaps, you were pointing to where the larger trouble may lie.  that you may speak a language something like that of dreams - in metaphors or striking imagery...

    i believe and trust implicitly your innate wisdom and finely calibrated intuition.  speak to me as you have.  i am listening with greater and greater sensitivity.  i am heeding and will heed your call, your cry of “enough!” or “stop!” or “get me support now.”   i am here, it is my mission to listen and hear as best i can your needs, your messages, your wisdom and act on it, to support you in all the ways i know how.  i’ve felt from the beginning that you know perfectly well how to heal me, but, right now, you need a great deal of support to do that.

    i love you.  unconditionally.
    as i know you love me.  unconditionally.
    your love is big and beautiful and extraordinarily supportive.  thank you, dear body.

much love,
your eternally grateful student,
wendy